Why is it so difficult for someone to listen? I swear I have told my children 100 times tonight to get in the shower, brush their teeth, and do their homework. What part of these everyday tasks is so difficult for them to comprehend? Do mothers speak alien that the asked tasks are not able to translate through the blood brain barrier of a small child’s growing mind?
If you haven’t gathered by now I will let you in on a little secrete. I want to pull my hair out tonight and scream at the top of my lungs with the inability for my children to listen. I am literally fit to be tied! If I had the 21 century of communication on my blog I would have inserted a red-faced top blowing off emoji right here, and then again here too; followed by a couple teary eyed emojis and a glass of wine.
When I was about to repeat for the 101st time tonight “get in the shower now, you stink and your hair has food in it” I paused. Not a slow motion, romantic movie pause. But rather a sole jerking, hit the brick wall running pause. I AM speaking alien to them!!!!
A child, and in fact many adults, do not understand what is being asked of them. Society has taken away the ability to communicate to one another in an efficient manner. None of these times when I asked my children to get ready for bed, shower, or even brush their teeth was I directly focused on them. I was washing dishes, doing laundry, and shamefully I was even blogging. My asking was merely a conversation of convenience for me. I expected my children to stop what they were doing to listen. Yet, I could not even stop my own task to look them in the eye and ask them to obey my request.
I sure hope you are not continuing to read this blog and hope for a cure-all answer to the age-old dilemma, because I truly and honestly have no idea how to break these “alien speaking” conversations in my own home. Let alone give advice to someone else. What I do know is that tonight I grew aware of the fact that maybe my children do listen. They sure are modeling their behaviors after what they are observing. Maybe what they are trying to tell me is not that they lack the desire to obey their parents, but rather giving me a wake up call to listen to them.
As soon as I had my soul jerking moment and I halted everything I was doing, looked both of my children in the eyes, and ask them with full attention to get in the shower. They obeyed!!! No fighting, no arguing, and I even kept all of my hair intact on my head. Yes, even the grey one I have recently discovered.
Life is so rushed. We are forced to have unemotional relationships between even those we love because of convenience and time. Why are we allowing this to happen? Why not take 5 minutes to stop the dishes to simply ask your children to get in the shower. Breaking a habit of rushing is difficult. I am sure it will be overwhelming at times and even more frustrating than the 101 repetitive asks to shower tonight. With the realization that I want the alien talk to stop in my home I am setting a goal. When speaking to someone I will give direct eye contact, pause what I am doing, and expect the same in return.
Although it is so easy to see my flaws as a parent because of my amazing children and their hearts filled with forgiveness. It is not so easy to see my flaws as a friend, co-worker, and even spouse. Alien talk is not just with your children, but is also found even more frequently between the adults we choice to interact with. My challenge with giving full attention needs to be followed through with my adult relationships as well. In addition to this goal I am also going to attempt to pick up a phone. Yep, you read that correct. I am actually going to call someone tomorrow rather than text them. I am going to put the personal relationship back in the relationships I have placed in my life. Does that mean my texting is done? Absolutely not, texting is still a way of communication, but sometimes a phone call is better. Or even a snap chat video message, anything more personal than a 2D emoji on a white 3×3 screen.
Are you up for the challenge of decreasing the “alien talk” in your home?
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